A Creed I Can Believe

As a Christian, one of the facets of my worship, is the affirmation of faith through the reciting of one of the creeds of the early Church (namely the Nicaean or Apostle’s Creed). For the longest time, I never questioned why they’re used. What was the purpose for such creeds to be used?

In brief, at the time these creeds were created, the early Church was facing the challenge of groups of people teaching incorrect doctrines and beliefs of the Church. To distinguish themselves from those with conflicting teachings, the creeds were established as a way to affirm the Church’s identity and what it believes.

We still recite the creeds in many churches on Sunday morning and throughout the week. Yet somehow, it feels a tad outdated. I have struggled with these creeds in our modern day. The Church talks about God’s love and inclusivity; yet, while these creeds affirm our faith, they also separate us from those we wish to include. We speak of the Body of Christ and God’s children, yet these creeds limit who is a Child of God (as I so perceive it to be). As others have said, the creeds are a moral litmus test that separate people like the rescued (saved) from the broken and lost (damned).

So instead, I need to examine and break down how I feel about the key points of the Creeds.

I believe in God. The skeptical and empirical me struggles to accept the presence of something I cannot see. Naturalistic views would say that religion is irrelevant as the Divine cannot be quantified. Yet, there is a sense of wonder and magic in nature and the world that science falls short of fully describing. Then there’s the violence in the world and all the suffering that some benevolent God “upstairs” just lets happen and no miraculous divine intervention stops it. Children starve and die, genocide happens, all the while people that are elected to seek the best interests of others are instead doing all they can to hold onto their power, sadly at the expense of the very people they were chosen to serve. Despite all of the bullshit and hate in the world, I cannot fully reject that God isn’t real. To do so would feel empty and lessening of my life.

I believe in Jesus Christ. This part has always been a bit of a catch for me. Why the hell would God make a covenant with people, knowing they’ll break it, and then take on a mortal form of flesh and blood, just to kill himself on a cross to please God? How the hell does that work? It almost sounds like some ass-backward construct we created as a means to pass off the horrible things we do to each other. However, I cannot deny that a sense of peace and joy comes to me when I study and try to follow that which Jesus taught people to do: love each other. Teachings rooted in love call to me that there is hope in humanity and somehow that hope lies within that of Jesus of Nazareth.

I believe in the Holy Spirit. Now comes some bizarre shit. This aspect of the Trinity is an invisible spirit moving through the created universe, nurturing and guiding. Whether it’s some ghostly pale spirit we imagine or the idea of the wind moving through the trees, the idea that some spirit of God moves about stirring the hearts of others sounds a bit….strange, and yet I cannot describe what I feel when there is a need to help others. Whatever it may be within me that motivates me to act, it’s from a place of love usually. Something moves through me and I somehow become reminded that we all bear shit and carry it with us. That “spirit” that moves my heart to action tells me that we all need each other to get through our shit. It is not something we do alone. This Holy Spirit perhaps is the threadwork of humanity’s tapestry that weaves it all together into our narrative. That feminine, nurturing energy pushes us to love more fiercely and more intensely (with intention). Somehow this spirit of God moves about and pushes us to a place of love that I feel our humanity sometimes falls short of being able to do on its own.

I believe in the Church. If there is one thing the Church is good at doing, it’s fucking it up. We weaponize a collection of teachings and Scriptures as a means to keep power, shove the needy away, and oppress that which is different from us. It has been said that the Church could “mess up a lettuce salad.” On the surface, it seems like all the Church does is inflict wounds in the name of God and preserve a patriarchal hierarchy. Then I see people from churches out in the community helping others. I see that sweet person at another’s doorstep with a casserole for the grieving. I see the homeless being fed. Past the surface level, there is a part of the Church that seeks forgiveness for what it has done and asks us to love each other and be in community together. Not all the Church wants to hurt, and that is worth fighting for.

Of course, there are the other doctrinal points of baptism, resurrection, the forgiveness of sins, the communion of saints, and eternal life. These all feel a bit nebulous and abstract, but if the aforementioned points grip my heart and tell me that there is more than what I can physically see, then these ideas perhaps have the same truth to them too. perhaps it actually does happen.

So, instead, I seek to have a creed for myself that reflects more truly who I am as a disciple and mystic of the Christian tradition.

I believe that God gives us the choice daily to love and be kind, and not be an asshole. I believe that through relationships God works miracles. I believe that these miracles are the magic of the system already at play and not some ground-shaking system-breaking event.

I believe that Jesus of Nazareth opened the way for us to eternal joy and happiness through the teachings of love for God, others, and the self. I believe his death was the ultimate example of love for the other and I am called daily to sacrifice a part of myself for others so they may see a glimpse of hope and love that I know exists, even when I cannot feel it at that moment.

I believe the Spirit of God works in our hearts somehow and calls us to action by nudging us to places of love and forgiveness. Working in tandem with the Creator and the Savior, the Holy Spirit breathes life into us and reminds us that our existence is precious and wonderful and that we should rejoice and celebrate that in each other instead of hurting and oppressing.

I believe in the Church that seeks to love others and lift up those that cannot do it themselves. I believe in this human construct that knows love is the way and seeks to make it the cultural and social norms that brings us closer as people, and not further divide us into conflict and hate.

I believe that faith is having hope in something that can help us move through pain and sorrow, to joy and love. Sometimes it feels quite fake and other times, very real. Regardless, I believe faith helps us grow by knowing there is a tomorrow on the other side of tonight.

I believe that I am a broken, busted up, asshole that struggles continuously to see the good in humanity, when hate, violence, and death appear to be all that surrounds me. I also believe that I am a work in progress that tries to love others, even if I stumble through it. I believe that I, too, need the love and healing I try to share with others.

I believe this journey is equal parts walking in the darkness and running in the sun.

I believe that even though I am a selfish person, I am loved beyond my understanding and that leaves me very confused some days.

I believe that the spark of divinity resides in us all and that we are called to see and acknowledge it in all persons.

I believe we are all Children of God, especially the people I don’t believe deserve to be, and that really fries my grits.

I believe that I cannot fully understand how this all works and that I must trust that which I cannot see and know that everything will be okay, even if I don’t know how it will be. I believe somehow God will make it all work.

I believe that from love we were made and to that very love, we shall return to, one day.

Amen.