Seen

Have you ever felt like you aren’t quite sure what it is in life that you seek?

We chase after the wind, knowledge, money, material possessions, and think we are satisfied. Yet, even so, happiness and satisfaction evade us.

How frustrating? What the hell? I’ve done everything right and yet still something seems missing. What is missing? I have everything, right?

Or so we think. Why is status so important to us? Why do we associate with others that we consider to be good friends? What is it in all of this we are seeking and yet can’t put our finger on it?

We want to be seen.

We acquire things so people will see us and acknowledge us and hope they want to associate with us, or at least be curious enough to make initial contact. We feel that we require these things so that others may notice us.

Perhaps we are going about it the wrong way. Instead of seeking out things so that others may see us, would it not be better to seek our authentic selves so that we may be fully seen by those that truly love us? Sure, it feels good to have random people acknowledge us or seek us out because we are “known” but do we feel seen, or simply a platform to help someone else? While that isn’t a bad thing, we are not noting that we, too, wish to be seen as we truly are.

The path ahead of me is not one of an easy stroll. It’s full of challenges, and tests, and frustrations that will make me question everything I’m doing. I’ve known this for a while now. Where it leads is to a place of service, sacrifice, hope, and joy (God willing). Why do I choose this? Why pursue this calling within me to ministry and service to others?

While in some way, I believe I am compelled by that of Divine influence (God), perhaps there is something else that is married to that.

Perhaps, I want to be seen as I truly am. A broken, reworked, tattered, genuine, vulnerable, sarcastic, and altruistic person (and perhaps a touch of asshole here and there) that I am. perhaps I want just want those who know me to be able to look at me one day and simply say

“I see you as you are, and you are a beautiful mess that is wonderfully made.”