What Do We Do Now?

Oh, so after 4 years of calling him a narcissist, fascist, misogynist and many other harsh terms, you want peace now? Hell no. Never.

After 4 years of calling him a terrorist, a Muslim, illegitimate, the devil, you expect us to forget? Hell no.

Anyone see the problem here? Anyone see a pattern of hate that has been growing and growing over time?

Maybe it slipped past unnoticed until now as we have hit a boiling point. The pressure has become immense and now it can no longer be contained. Why should we even consider healing and moving past? What hypocritical bullshit is this? Hell no. We’ve been offended and refuse to be bullied or back down from the enemy.

And there begins the issue. We’ve viewed each other as the enemy.

It’s easy to slip into that mindset. First we don’t agree with someone. Next we find their ideology highly flawed and out of a desire to inform, we incite pushback. We offend. We come off harsh, arrogant, etc. A lot of us really suck at giving criticism and we sure as hell suck at being open to receive it. I know I do.

Pride is a nasty bastard that tells me to not be humble or to have an open mind because surely, I know better than someone else and while in the process of trying to inform, I impose my view upon the other. Pride tells me to subdue it. What they’re thinking is a terrible thought. It’s baseless. It goes against what I stand for. Why the hell should we even have open dialogue when I’m obviously right?

Pride gets in the way of healing and reconciliation. The very thing that are components of love. Regardless of your religious background we are all human beings and are all created equal. Everyone one of us, from the millionaire to the convict on death row. From the selfless and altruistic person serving the poor with all they have, to those in power that have the ability to do good or evil in this world, we all deserve love. We all deserve forgiveness. That doesn’t make me a doormat though. It does, however, free me from the harmful connection that has been established between me and the person I’ve hurt, or vice versa. Like one of my favorite theologians, Nadia Bolz-Weber, has noted that through forgiveness we wield bolt cutters that can cut that chain that binds us. It frees us. Forgiving others does require us to put pride aside. We have to come to a position that forces our egos into a more humble state so that we can forgive and in turn, be forgiven.

A lot has happened over the weekend. While many have been in streets celebrating, others have sat by full of anger and betrayal. We have continued to say hateful things to each other. We continue to put each other down. Yeah we’re all bitter. But, if we continue to act and behave this way, we journey down a dark road so treacherous that by the time we come off that path we may no longer recognize who we are as people, or as a nation. We have to seek reconciliation somehow.

How do we do that you ask? I don’t know. I’m not wise man, great philosopher, theologian, or political leader. I’m just a gay man trying to do what I believe to be the right thing. What I do know and believe is that love can heal all wounds in time and that a component of that love is forgiveness.

I’m not asking any of you to make peace with oppression or take a side on the aisle. I’m asking you as your neighbor, your fellow American, and someone who loves this country as much as you all do as well to put your pride aside. We need to confess our shit to each other. We need to admit we’ve said hateful things out of passion that while might have good intentions, came out in a not-so-good way. We then to need to forgive each other of those wounds we have inflicted upon each other. We need to come back to a place where we love each other so much that we can address any issue civilly and work to find an answer that is for the good of us all, not just some.

So, with that being said, I’ll start my part with this…

To all my friends, regardless or your political affiliation, race, religion, sexual orientation or gender:

I have said hateful things in heated moments to many of you. I have spoken from a place of passion that had good intentions but ultimately did the opposite. I ask you to forgive me. I hope that we can push our pride out of the way and come together again.

I also ask you to be there with me when I struggle to walk the road of love. Remind me of what I’ve written and help me to get back on the path.

It’s idealistic as hell, but I believe that if we can all stop being assholes to each other and give this a try, we just might be able to begin the healing process of some very deep wounds. It will take quite a long time, and we must hold fast and carry that banner of love forward.

It is the only banner worth carrying forward from this.